Love Advice: How Poor Communication Can Ruin Make Up Sex
I am not saying that the disagreement you had last week is the reason that you’re not having sex tonight. However, it might have a little to do with it! Men and women have different types of communication, but that does not necessarily mean it’s wrong or bad. My opinion is that both should say exactly what they mean and or are feeling, otherwise it creates a falseness of what the real issue is.
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For example, she is upset because he forgot something important that they discussed extensively and is obviously having an attitude with just about everything that he does or says. At that moment, he can do nothing right because she’s pissed off and will get on him for every little thing.
He just thinks, “Wow, she’s got some really bad PMS!” He gets annoyed at her nagging, and a fight breaks out! He asks what is wrong, she says, “nothing!” Then gets mad when he walks away.
The argument continues onto other things that have nothing to do with the problem. Both are disgusted and walk away, assuming the other is to blame! Men and women both do this! It would have been easier to just state the issue from the beginning, and hear out each other’s differences.
Later, in the bedroom… She’s thinking, “ there is no way in hell that I am going to even let him touch me, because he doesn’t care about me or my feelings!” He is thinking, “if we have make up sex, then I know everything’s okay and forgiven.” In reality, both are going to end up going to bed angry, and nothing is going to be solved …only carry on to become the fuel for the next argument.
A big part of the problem may be that men think about sex and contact as being the equal to women wanting to talk about their feelings. Both use a technique to express themselves and their feelings, just differently. It can be avoided when we all understand that not everyone uses the same style of communication.
Maybe it’s not about being right or wrong; it’s about respecting each other’s differences. Men have to understand, that, unfortunately women are led by the nose with our emotions. This is sometimes not a gift but a hindrance! And ladies, don’t take think that make up sex can’t be a good thing. It’s what brings you back to each other and makes you see how unimportant the fight was in the first place.